Fiddling Around - NeidFyre is heading to Celtic Fling!

This weekend is the 12th annual Celtic Fling & Highland Games at the Mt. Hope Estate and Winery in Manheim, PA. This is important for a number of reasons.

1. It's a rockin' good time
2. Loads of people will be there, enjoying loads of Celtic music
3. Yours Truly, NeidFyre, will be performing there for the First Time EVER!

You heard me right, my dears, I'll be at the 12th annual Celtic Fling & Highland Games THIS Weekend!

You can find me performing at the Traditional Stage at 12:30, 4:00 & 6:30.  

I will have ALL my CD's with me, as well as other merch (duck feet & magnets)

Please come out this weekend, have a great time, and Take Me Home With You (on CD) ;>

See ya'll at the party!

Love, 

Mel 

Thinking outloud when ones head is over-full

I may have mentioned earlier that my brain is full.  It feels stuffed with chaos, disorder, crap, and indecision. There are times when I just don't know how to sort it, let alone deal with all the things I'm thinking. Normally, when things get like this, my ADD takes me in one of two directions: 1) Super Hyper-Focus 2) Withdrawal & Hibernation.  Sadly, neither of those directions are very effective for forward motion.


Trying to combat this, I took stock and decided to have a "Me" afternoon.  I took 2 hours for me while MissT watched the Daikini Baby. After that the two of us hung out with a friend and his son in the A/C at the Mall. In addition to not functioning well with an over-full brain, I function even less well (is that even a real phrase?) in the heat and humidity.  One thing about Upstate NY, we have weather. It's not like Texas weather, which will change every 5 minutes, Upstate NY weather is consistent. OK, it's not consistent day-to-day, but given half a chance, it'll be consistent for a few hours.  This afternoons consistency was made of humid, hot, sunny weather. 


While I had an excellent time with my friend, my daughter & my friend's son, my brain kept wandering off.  Silly misfiring of things like "I like how chocolate shakes feel on my tongue" to "Breastfeeding in public isn't that bad. I can't believe how less ashamed of my body I am since I had #DB" to "Those archer farms' hummus chips last night were so tasty".  Now, take those three things and multiply them by 25.  Now, take all those things, and pretend the inside of your head has a radio broadcast on.  If you're still with me, turn the volume on all those radio broadcasts to a point where you can almost hear them, but not quite. This, my dear friends, is what goes on in my head all the time.

My friend Marrus said to me 2 weeks ago at SCRF, "You talk a LOT." She's right, I do. I talk to everything. I talk to trees, elevators, people, birds, my lunch, even my phone (as well as talking to people ON my phone). What I'm wondering now is if all that external conversation and noise is an outward reflection of my inner conversations. Don't get me wrong, I adore talking to trees. They are wonderful listeners, and an excellent source of comfort. I do wonder, though, if I could be silent for a while what it is that I'd hear, both in my head and out.

These are the things I'm going to ponder as I sit in the silence of my studio, and try not to talk to my tea mug.

Goodbye

There's so much going on these days, it's hard to sit down and write about it.  My head feels over-full, but it's not the chaos it was after my dad's passing.  Tonight my head is full of thoughts about the word Goodbye. 


This evening a scene from Sweeney Todd popped into my head.  If you don't know, dear reader, Sweeney Todd is one of my favourite musicals. Len Cariou's voice is just... gut-wrenchingly human. The pain, the sadness, the anger, it comes through so clearly.  Ah, but I digress.  The point of this is the scene in which Sweeney says Goodbye. Toward the end of the musical Sweeney comes to a point where he is killing people, just floating on air, at peace with himself. He seems free. He's made his peace with his past, and he's going forward. 


I can see this around me.  I can see the letting go, and it's just crushingly painful. I can't express in my own words how I feel, so I will share Sweeney's Lyrics with you.


JOHANNA, reprise
Sweeney Todd
And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her?
I'd want you beautiful and pale, the way I've dreamed you were,
Johanna

And if you're beautiful what then with yellow hair, like wheat
I think we shall not meet again my little dove, my sweet
Johanna

Goodbye, Johanna
You're gone, and yet you're mine
I'm fine, Johanna,
I'm fine

And if I never hear your voice, my turtle-dove, my dear
I still have reason to rejoice the way your head is clear
Johanna

And in that darkeness when I'm blind with what I can't forget

It's always morning in my mind, my little lamb, my pet
Johanna
You stay, Johanna

The way I dreamed you were
Oh look, Johanna, a star

A shooting star

And though I'll think of you I guess, until the day I die,
I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by
Johanna

And you'd be beautiful and pale and look too much like her
If only angels could prevail we'd be the way we were
Johanna

Wake up, Johanna!
Unnerve the bright red day
We learn Johanna, to say
Goodbye



Sadly the quality from the original musical isn't very good, so I've a link to the song from the movie version starring Johnny Depp.  I don't feel that his voice conveys the same heartbreak and freedom that Len Cariou's did, but think he did a good job none-the-less. 

Blogging for sanity

I need to start with a confession; It's been almost 5 months since my last blog posting.


Many of the reasons are valid, some are not, but the point is that I haven't written much in the past 5 months.  Life has a way of dancing, and I seem to forget the steps from time to time.


Things have happened in the past 5 months.


Some of the things that have happened:

• My father passed away.
• My daughter had her complete cycle around the moon and is now almost 14 months old.
• I've been in the studio and recorded a brand new CD.

My head is full of chaos. I need to slow down, breathe, and figure out the dance moves that Life and the Universe are showing me so I can flow with them rather than stumble awkwardly, or fall down.


I don't like falling down.  Some people are graceful and fall like a dancer or an acrobat.  Some people are NOT graceful and fall like a wounded rhinoceros with a 4th testicle and a mouth full of bees.  I am not particularly graceful.  I know I will fall here and there, and hopefully it wouldn't be with a mouth full of bees or handfulls of testicles.  I know I can learn from my spills, no matter how painful.  I think what I'm saying is that falling down seems necessary to self-evolution. 

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something" (Wesley, The Princess Bride)

If we don't fall down and hurt that 4th testicle, how will we learn how to juggle them?  If we don't fall down with a mouth full of bees, how will we learn to open our mouths at the right time and let them go? The process of falling is painful, I don't think there's any denying that. How do we pick ourselves up? What do we learn from our falls and spills? How can we move forward after that mis-step on the runway where we end up ass-over-teacups, and our nether's out there for the world to see.  


I've fallen.  I've hurt myself.  I've not been truthful.  I've swallowed my mouthful of bees.  Life is pain, but life can be more than that.  Life can be rainbows, pretty felted shoes and sleigh bells.  Life can be trolls and faeries getting along.  Life can be as simple as a hug and kiss from a child, or a delicious glass of iced coffee on a hot summer afternoon.


Forgive me, my friends, for I've not written in almost 5 months. I'm going to stand up now.  Want to join me for the ride?

TECH: You confound me so! (Really this is about clutter)

This evening I was working on my new CD, FAVOURITES when I ran into a problem. Apparently 1/2 of my CD's were bad. Each bad CD had snippets of music or something on them. It was infuriating! The best thing I could come up with, after a calming talk with the hubby, was that the bad CD's somehow didn't get thrown away the first time around.  Apparently I just put them back in the bin with the rest of the good CD's. WTF?

I'm not a hoarder, but I feel like I'm on the brink.  I am, in fact, a collector, a pack rat, a connoisseur of things past. I don't throw ANYTHING away. Seriously, I have all my papers from all four years of college tucked in a drawer somewhere. I have nearly all the cards I've been sent, for every occasion possible, from the past 15 years in my desk. I have pens, pencils, crayons, markers, and out-dated calendars.  I have stacks of papers, no longer in any conceivable order that I trip over regularly.

My studio, which was 90% clean before my Daikini Baby was born, is now 90% full. Of Shit. OK, maybe not shit, but definitely crap.

Why do I keep all this?  What's going on in my head?  What is the emotional significance of all this stuff?  What hole in my soul is it all filling?

Oh the things I ponder at 2:07am...

Foodie: Pork Loin Chops in Apple Cream

I had some pork loin chops in the fridge that I desperately needed to cook, but hadn't a clue what to do with them tonight.  My friend Hel suggested pan fry or pan sear, and my friend Joni suggested a few recipes from allrecipies.com.  I ended up making the pork loin chops in apple cream and OMG was it tasty!

All in all in didn't take that long.  I had more than 4 oz. of chops, and I ended up cooking them all.  We had extra egg noodles, so I went with that. I would also spice the gravy better, using fresh rosemary for starters.  Irregardless, this is going into my keeper file and I will make it again. MmmmmmmMmmm!

Bon apettit!

Here's the description & recipe:
"A simple twist on an old Shaker dish. Pork chops are browned, then simmered in an apple cider infusion and finished in half-and-half or cream. Makes a great dinner for two, simple to prepare, hearty enough for him, but delicious by any standards. Can substitute chicken breasts for the pork loin chops."

Ingredients

• 4 (4 ounce) boneless pork loin chops
• 1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1 pinch ground allspice
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 cup apple cider
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1/2 cup half-and-half or cream

Directions

1. Season pork chops on all sides with 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper; set aside. Combine the flour, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper, nutmeg, and allspice in a plastic bag. Toss pork with seasoned flour to coat, and shake off excess.
2. Heat butter and olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat until lightly smoking. Sear pork until golden brown on each side, about 3 minutes per side. Pour in apple cider and bring to a boil. Turn heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until pork is fork tender, 15 to 20 minutes. Remove pork and keep warm; increase heat to medium-high. Dissolve cornstarch in the chicken broth, and stir into simmering cider; cook for a minute or two until thickened. Stir in the half-and-half and simmer until hot. Serve sauce over the pork chops.

Performing: Why I'm No Longer Afraid To Take Your Money!

I've been thinking  a lot lately about Money, and being a Performer.  Happily most of my gigs are paid these days, but I still do free shows, and I still busk.  I'm what you would call the "soft sell" type. I have a tip jar (or an empty fiddle case or a hat depending on where I'm busking) and I ask folks to toss in a dollar or more depending on how much they enjoyed my show. I've never been a fan of the hard sell.  Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not, but I never feel like I'm forcing myself on my fans.  

I love connecting with people. I love playing a tune or singing a song and watching the audience, old and young, react. I've made people laugh, cry, and even scared a few.  It's an amazing rush, and I LOVE what I do.  For the first time, I really LOVE and ADORE what I do. All things being equal, this life doesn't always pay the bills or put food on the table.  Almost everything in this world has a price, and like the rest of this  country, I'd like to have a bit more in my wallet.

Last September Amanda Palmer talked about this in the now famous blog post "Why I Am Not Afraid To Take Your Money" Take a read. Really hear what she has to say.  I think she's hit the nail on the head with this.

I am a Musician and Performer (neidfyre.com). I run with sissors. I live an unconventional life, and I'm so much happier for it. Jane Smith and John Doe get dressed to the nines, work their desk job and get a paycheck with benefits. My job doesn't offer benefits. I don't have the luxury of a weekly or bi-weekly paycheck.  I work hard for every show/gig/performance, regardless of the size of the audience and venue. I go out there and give each show my best.

Two years ago I went on the road (away from home for an extended time) for the first time. I drove to Texas with my dog and we lived in a tent for 7 weeks.  I worked a small faire and met amazing people, many of whom I'm still in touch with.  Later that year I drove to Wisconsin and Minnesota for shows. My "local" weekend shows took me to Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania.   I wore funny costumes, sang songs, played tunes, and tried to sell as many CD's as I could.  I met some incredible people on the journey. All the while, I may have broken even, and more than likely I lost money.  I didn't feel comfortable asking for help, so I didn't.  I tried to do it mostly on my own because that's what I thought I had to do.

We're now in the baby steps of 2010.  My life has changed a lot in the last 2 years. I'm now a musician, performer  teacher full time and I have a 9-mos old baby.  My darling Daikini Baby (DB) was born March 27, 2009.  I took most of last year easy and didn't do as much traveling on the road due to the pregnancy, but 2010 is starting with a bang!  DB and I are leaving for Arizona January 29, 2010 and will be there for 2 months working the Arizona Renaissance Festival.  I'm just not sure how exactly we're going to get there.

We're outfitting Serenity (my '92 Plymouth Voygager) for the trip, but gas and food are expensive.  I put the call out to you, my friends and my fans, because we need some help.  This weekend I'll be putting together a limited run CD (150 copies) called NeidFyre's Favorites.  I'll be taking my favourite tracks from all of my CD's to make this compilation.  The CD will cost $7.00 (includes shipping/handling/taxes) and will be available January 11 - January 28.  Each CD will also be signed and numbered.  If you want to know what my favourite tunes are, buy this CD. If you want to introduce my music to friends, buy this CD. If you want to wallpaper your livingroom, buy MANY COPIES of this CD. ;>  If you've enjoyed my shows, and enjoy the music I make, please think about pressing the donation button below. If you would like to help and don't want a CD, feel free to press the donation button below.

Thank you all for reading.  Thank you all for being a part of my life.  I look forward to seeing many of you on my travels in 2010 and beyond.

With love,

Mel

With thanks to Amanda Fucking Palmer for giving me the courage to no longer be afraid

Looking to buy one of my CD's? Want to purchase the new compilation CD "NeidFyre's Favourites" Do you just want to donate to the cause?  

Please go to NeidFyre.com/DONATE  

At the bottom of the page is a DONATE button.  Please fill out the Purpose line with "Donation" or "NeidFyre's Favourites" so I know if I'm sending you a CD!

Much love and thanks, 

Mel