Saturday, July 31, 2010

Time Goes By

Time can be so fluid.

Tomorrow is August 1, Lammas.   It's hard to believe we're beginning the 8th month of 2010.  So many things have happened this year, not just to/around me, but to so many friends and loved ones.  I can't say that 2010 has been a horror (thus far) like most of the 00's have been, but it's definitely had its ups and downs.

My Pop is gone 4 mos as of tonight/tomorrow.
My daughter is 16 mos old.
I start PARF in 2 wks.
My ankle isn't healed yet.
My life is moving in ways I wasn't expecting.

I certainly have regrets, but there have been harvests.

I have met so many wonderful people on my travels to AZ and back.
I recorded a new CD.
My mental health is slowly improving.
My physical health is slowly improving.

Looking around myself, I can see different lifestyles and different directions. I have no idea what the rest of 2010 will bring, but I'm hopeful for clarity.  I'm hopeful for health (physical and emotional).  I'm hopeful for creative growth. I'm hopeful for financial understanding (which should lead to financial growth). I'm hopeful for joy and love.  I'm hopeful for hope.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

The hope and promise of office supplies

I am a packrat.
There, I've said it.

I looked up the definition earlier at

1. a collector of miscellaneous useless objects
2. any of several bushy-tailed rodents of the genus Neotoma of western North America; hoards food and other objects

While I'm not bushy-tailed, or a member of the genus Neotoma, I do fit the rest of the description.  This is relevant for two reasons.
1. My house is filled with STUFF. Boxes, upon knickknacks, upon boxes of Stuff.
2. I am in the process of packing as we need to move by the end of summer.

Honestly, I'm having a hard time.  Part of it is ADD-related and feeling overwhelmed.  Part of it is the sheer amount of stuff that needs going through, which also feeds into the ADD issues.  Part of it is that my darling DB sees what I'm doing and wants to help. That means that things I've put in the box to recycle, or bring to the thrift store, or pack get UNpacked.  These things lead to a very unmotivated Me.  I'd rather be playing FB games, watching, or practicing.  Basically, I'd rather be doing anything else.  Heck, I'd even go to the dentist if it would get me out of packing. Sadly, I can't do those other things because I must be strong. I must pack.

I've been through most of the book shelves for the first purging, and I've gotten rid of 5 bags of books.  It feels good to have divested, but I feel so sad.  Those books were like old friends.  I didn't want to say good bye to them, but I had to.  Next on the list are the office supplies.

I adore office supplies.  They hold such promise.  They will help me colour coordinate.  They will help me organise.  They will help me reach my full potential!  They will  help me feel productive! They will also clutter my space.  Pinning my hopes on inanimate objects to help me with such things has never really worked, but it's not stopped me from hoarding pens, post-its, staples, push pins, and folders.

So many emotions are caught up in the clutter of my life.  In truth, the emotions and memories take up so much less (physical) space, there's no real need for me to hold onto the tangible objects.  That empty bottle of seltzer tells me that it was the first bottle of seltzer I drank, on my own, and enjoyed.  It tells me that it was a hot night, and cranberry lime seltzer really hit the spot. It's also been sitting on the floor, under my desk, for the past several months.  Recently it took on new life as a toy for my 15 mos old daughter, but really I don't need to keep it.  She has plenty of toys, and I can grab another bottle of seltzer from the cupboard when I get thirsty.  I can get rid of that bottle Any Time.  You just watch me.


EDIT: Not only is the damn water bottle gone, but the floor is swept and mostly clear. Go me. :D


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