Thursday, June 24, 2010

Fiddling Around - NeidFyre is heading to Celtic Fling!

This weekend is the 12th annual Celtic Fling & Highland Games at the Mt. Hope Estate and Winery in Manheim, PA. This is important for a number of reasons.

  1. It's a rockin' good time
  2. Loads of people will be there, enjoying loads of Celtic music
  3. Yours Truly, NeidFyre, will be performing there for the First Time EVER!
You heard me right, my dears, I'll be at the 12th annual Celtic Fling & Highland Games THIS Weekend!

You can find me performing at the Traditional Stage at 12:30, 4:00 & 6:30.  
I will have ALL my CD's with me, as well as other merch (duck feet & magnets)

Please come out this weekend, have a great time, and Take Me Home With You (on CD) ;>

See ya'll at the party!


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Thinking outloud when ones head is over-full

I may have mentioned earlier that my brain is full.  It feels stuffed with chaos, disorder, crap, and indecision. There are times when I just don't know how to sort it, let alone deal with all the things I'm thinking. Normally, when things get like this, my ADD takes me in one of two directions: 1) Super Hyper-Focus 2) Withdrawal & Hibernation.  Sadly, neither of those directions are very effective for forward motion.

Trying to combat this, I took stock and decided to have a "Me" afternoon.  I took 2 hours for me while MissT watched the Daikini Baby. After that the two of us hung out with a friend and his son in the A/C at the Mall. In addition to not functioning well with an over-full brain, I function even less well (is that even a real phrase?) in the heat and humidity.  One thing about Upstate NY, we have weather. It's not like Texas weather, which will change every 5 minutes, Upstate NY weather is consistent. OK, it's not consistent day-to-day, but given half a chance, it'll be consistent for a few hours.  This afternoons consistency was made of humid, hot, sunny weather. 

While I had an excellent time with my friend, my daughter & my friend's son, my brain kept wandering off.  Silly misfiring of things like "I like how chocolate shakes feel on my tongue" to "Breastfeeding in public isn't that bad. I can't believe how less ashamed of my body I am since I had #DB" to "Those archer farms' hummus chips last night were so tasty".  Now, take those three things and multiply them by 25.  Now, take all those things, and pretend the inside of your head has a radio broadcast on.  If you're still with me, turn the volume on all those radio broadcasts to a point where you can almost hear them, but not quite. This, my dear friends, is what goes on in my head all the time.

My friend Marrus said to me 2 weeks ago at SCRF, "You talk a LOT." She's right, I do. I talk to everything. I talk to trees, elevators, people, birds, my lunch, even my phone (as well as talking to people ON my phone). What I'm wondering now is if all that external conversation and noise is an outward reflection of my inner conversations. Don't get me wrong, I adore talking to trees. They are wonderful listeners, and an excellent source of comfort. I do wonder, though, if I could be silent for a while what it is that I'd hear, both in my head and out.

These are the things I'm going to ponder as I sit in the silence of my studio, and try not to talk to my tea mug.


There's so much going on these days, it's hard to sit down and write about it.  My head feels over-full, but it's not the chaos it was after my dad's passing.  Tonight my head is full of thoughts about the word Goodbye. 

This evening a scene from Sweeney Todd popped into my head.  If you don't know, dear reader, Sweeney Todd is one of my favourite musicals. Len Cariou's voice is just... gut-wrenchingly human. The pain, the sadness, the anger, it comes through so clearly.  Ah, but I digress.  The point of this is the scene in which Sweeney says Goodbye. Toward the end of the musical Sweeney comes to a point where he is killing people, just floating on air, at peace with himself. He seems free. He's made his peace with his past, and he's going forward. 

I can see this around me.  I can see the letting go, and it's just crushingly painful. I can't express in my own words how I feel, so I will share Sweeney's Lyrics with you.

JOHANNA, reprise
Sweeney Todd
And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her?
I'd want you beautiful and pale, the way I've dreamed you were,

And if you're beautiful what then with yellow hair, like wheat
I think we shall not meet again my little dove, my sweet

Goodbye, Johanna
You're gone, and yet you're mine
I'm fine, Johanna,
I'm fine

And if I never hear your voice, my turtle-dove, my dear
I still have reason to rejoice the way your head is clear

And in that darkeness when I'm blind with what I can't forget

It's always morning in my mind, my little lamb, my pet
You stay, Johanna

The way I dreamed you were
Oh look, Johanna, a star

A shooting star

And though I'll think of you I guess, until the day I die,
I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by

And you'd be beautiful and pale and look too much like her
If only angels could prevail we'd be the way we were

Wake up, Johanna!
Unnerve the bright red day
We learn Johanna, to say

Sadly the quality from the original musical isn't very good, so I've a link to the song from the movie version starring Johnny Depp.  I don't feel that his voice conveys the same heartbreak and freedom that Len Cariou's did, but think he did a good job none-the-less. 


ADD (18) AZRF (6) bacon (1) Bandcamp (2) birh story (1) cooking (1) CrunchyMama (1) Daikini Baby (15) DB (2) family (1) fiddle (2) Firefly (1) Food (4) funnies (1) health (3) Holidays (1) intarwebs (1) JeWitch (4) Kickstarter (2) life (12) loss (1) love (1) meme (1) migraine (1) misc (3) movies (1) music (12) muumuu Friday (1) NeidFyre (25) obsessed (1) Owain (1) PARF (8) pirates (1) poetry (1) popculture (1) Random (10) Scotland (1) singing (1) tech (2) Time (1) travel (2) tumblr (2) tunes (1) TV (1) wk 1 (1) wk 2 (1) writing (8)