I've decided that this year, 2013, is the year that I am going to learn some new music.
First on the list is "River's Jig" from Firefly. It's an actual trad tune, and how lucky am I that one of my dear's already knew the tune and taught it to me! I'm a very happy camper about this.
Second on the list is Music from Tolkein. I have a book of Tolkein's songs and they are so lovely. I think they will translate really well to fiddle as well as voice. I'm going to pick 3 tunes/songs to work on.
Third on the list are 10 tunes (generic Celtic) that people keep asking me to play.
Fourth on the list are Gypsy tunes. I am not going to go crazy (hahahh, too late ;>). I'm going to pick 4 tunes and work on them.
I think the next step will be to write down the names of the tunes/songs.... I guess I'd best do that before I pack all the books before we actually get on the road to AZRF, huh...
Lots floating in my brain, including the last 2 weekends at PARF.
We lost a wonderful man from the Ren community last week, and while I didn't know him very well I'm all jumbled about it.
Hug the ones you love. If they're too far to reach, then write or call them. Let them know you're thinking of them. Play some music. Drink something delicious. Remember that you are loved.
Health to the Company (additional lyrics by Owain Phyfe)
Here's a health to the company
and one to my lass.
Let us drink and be merry
all out of one glass.
Let us drink and be merry
all grief to refrain;
for we may or might never
all meet here again.
Kind friends and companions
come join in my rhyme;
and lift up your voices
in chorus with mine.
Let us drink and be merry
all grief to refrain;
for we may or might never
all meet here again.
Our ship lies at harbor;
she's ready to dock.
I wish her safe landing
without any shock.
And if ever we meet again
on land or on sea,
I will always remember
your kindness to me.
My footsteps may falter
my wit, it might fail.
My course may be challenged
by November gale.
E'er fortune shall prove
to be friend or be foe,
you will always be with me
wherever I go.
I've been thinking about this for a while, and honestly I've always wanted to do this but I've never had the time or been able to be consistent enough to do this. What is "This"? Well, it's writing up re-caps of the different shows I'm working. I'm feeling lucky, so lets give it a try, shall we?
There's only one word that I think can accurately describe opening weekend at PARF, and that word is "Wet".
The theme of opening weekend was "The Grande Arrival". The day started out moist, with high temps and higher humidity. My morning ran pretty smoothly, minus a clock error on my part (being late to the first morning meeting was more than a little embarrassing). Opening day at faire is wonderful. You see all the familiar faces, there are the hugs and smiles and the feeling of being home.
One of the best parts of the day for me at PARF is the morning jam at the Gazebo. It's the first time in a year that most of us shire musicians have seen each other, but once the canon fires it's like we were never apart. The jam really starts my day. It doesn't matter if I've had coffee or tea, the jam wakes me up. I had 2 stage shows (2:30 at the Ball and Chain and 4:30 at the Rose) as well as several street sets, so after the jam I trundled off to say hi to folks before my first street set.
The heat and humidity was oppressive Saturday. I know I did my best to stay hydrated, and the glass of pickle juice mid-day did wonders as a pick-me-up. I will say that's it's difficult to play the fiddle when your hands are so moist that your fingertips wrinkle up and your hands slide up and down the strings. The crowds, however, completely understood. We were all walking in our own personal sauna's.
My first stage show at the Ball and Chain was fun. The stage has been completely re-worked. Instead of picnic tables as benches, there were "risers" and a mesh tarp gave some cover from the sun. The dunk tank was removed, and a splash tower stood in its place. There was a space for the soundboard (the stage is mic'd) and the stage manager really seemed on the ball. Overall, I like the new layout. The patrons really seemed to have a good time despite the heat. They laughed and participated and that just makes my job so much easier. The weather folks said we might have a storm later in the afternoon, and sure if it didn't get dark and a little breezy just as my show ended. After the show I was chatting with some patrons when I heard the music playing on the sound system. (When the stages are empty the faire plays music featuring different groups that have been and currently work the show) I don't know when it happened, but I was added to the mix. I was listening to myself on the sound system. I squee'd like a 6-year-old. :grin: Then I started to play the tune that was playing. It was surreal and awesome.
My second stage show was at The Rose stage, and was equally as fun. I always feel like the folks that really seek me out go to that stage. The humidity kept growing during that show, which made performing a bit tricky. It's hard to play when 1) the fiddle doesn't stay in tune & 2) your fingers are so damp that they slide on the fingerboard. I ended up singing a bit more at that set. :grin:
My last stage show was Pub Sing, which was back at O'Malley's Pour House stage. Pub Sing is a nice cap for the day for me. I get to play with most of the musicians who were at the morning jam, and it's a very relaxed set. We usually do a round-robin and today was no different. I think we were all a little punch drunk from the heat and humidity at that point. Some friends from MDRF were there, and gave a huge complement to me that I shared with the others. They said that it wasn't the kind of pub sing they were expecting (raucous, loud, bawdy) but more of an Irish session. They really enjoyed it.
Pub Sing at PARF hasn't really seemed to find it's niche yet. It's not the spectacular that Finale is, nor is it the familiar gathering like the Pub Sing at Sterling. I like the idea that it's more of a Session, and can get people excited for the joust and then the Finale.
SUNDAY
The weather was much better in the early part of the day. Instead of the humidity being in the90's, it was in the 60's. The temps were still unGodly at 97, but the lower humidity did help. Also, there was a breeze! Breezes can make all the difference, let me tell you. :grin:
Gazebo jam was fun. I had to leave just before the end, though, because I was playing Queen's Court. I am still squee-ing about this. :grin: I've never played Queen's Court before. For the uninitiated, Queen's Court is at the Globe (the largest stage) and most of the morning patrons go there as the first show. They're introduced to the cast and the storyline, and there are 2 independent's that perform. It gets the word out about shows and performers that the patrons may not already know about.
I got mic'd and waited back stage for my cue. I have to give huge props to the "MC", who pronounced my name correctly. A lot of folks pronounce my name as Need-Fire, which is incorrect. I was on after The Mud Squad. I'll admit it, my stage fright was kicking in. Me. On the Big Stage. Performing ALONE. It was a lot of fun. I reveranced. I played "Butterfly". I was funny. I got off stage without falling down. The only problem was that my mic (and the Queen's) went out mid-performance. Ah, technology. Still, I got a lot of complements from the cast and the stage manager.
My show at the Ball & Chain was fun. I stuck to a similar format from Saturday's show. The audience laughed at most of the jokes, and they seemed to have a lot of fun. The weather started to turn at that point. It got a little cooler and the sky got a little darker. The weather held until about 5 minutes into my 4:30 show at The Rose.
It started to rain and I invited the patrons onto the stage before I started. There's a tarp over the benches, but it' not a solid tarp and the rain drips down. We put benches on the stage and as the rain started to fall harder everyone came up. The wind picked up then, and the thunder started. It turned into a full-fledged rain storm. I started with Butterfly as the rain started to fall sideways. Lightening, more thunder, more rain, but I kept playing. At some point someone came by and said that we all needed to stay at a permanent shelter, so my stage fit the bill but standing at the benches under the tarp did not. More people came up. We all got pretty close. :chuckle: I think 2 or 3 inches of rain fell in that 30 minutes. Everyone had a good time at the set, I got a lot of hugs and "that was great music" and some folks took home some CDs. This is one of the times where I really do love what I do. I got to entertain folks, and they were entertained, while the weather railed around us, and no one seemed to mind.
The rain died down after that, and I went over to Pub Sing. The set was really a lot of fun. There were only 4 people in the audience, but they were having So.Much.Fun, just sitting in the drizzle and listening to us perform. It was a soggy and amusing set.
After that set it was time to go back to the 'Bagel and pack up for the drive home. That was my opening weekend, wet and wonderful. Next weekend: Time Travelers weekend!
Finally getting my shit together and I realize that I've not posted here since February. 5 months ago. This is what happens when I don't have reliable internet & feel like I can't take the time to write. I had gotten very good at writing several times a week so I'd have things in the hopper to post. Time to start that again, me'thinks.
Dear Gods, did I just say "me'thinks"? *sigh* Lets recap and then look to the future....
Arizona was fantastic in a lot of ways and a little sucktastic in some ways. There was a bit of a "come to Jesus" experience that I'll be writing about later. Suffice to say, there was a lot that I learned at AZRF.
DB and I spent 3 weeks in Texas at 4Winds. It's a really sweet little faire, key word being little. The faire has a ton of potential, and I'm hoping that the changes management is making for next year really help it turn the corner. I really enjoyed re-connecting with folks I'd not seen in close to 5 years. I think DB had fun being able to spend all day, every day, with me. Big learning experience for me at 4Winds was not having a nanny. I'd not had my girl with me for a full festival day, while working, in a *long* time. It was actually a lot harder now that she's older and far more mobile.
After Texas we were at VARF in Spotsylvania, VA. VARF is close enough to Itown that we went back and forth most every weekend. VARF was a blast. I hadn't worked a full season at VARF since DB was born. I took what I learned at AZRF, applied it to VARF and things went smashingly well.
Celtic Fling happened after VARF, and it was a BLAST. Celtic Fling is a huge event at the PARF site, and I was thrilled to be in the company of some amazing bands (Barleyjuice, Tartanic, and Albannach to name a few). Fling is one of the few events I perform at where I'm not in garb, don't have an accent, and am not doing improv in the lanes. It's such an odd feeling for me being there, but I have a terrific time. I'm one of two bands that are listed as "Traditional", and I got a ton of complements from folks who were looking for trad music, not Celtic Rock, Celtic Punk, Celtic Not Traditional. It made me feel pretty good.
Since Fling I've played some private functions and weddings. SLO faire is in 3 weeks, then PARF hits in full force in August. The new show for this year is CRF in October & November, and then I head to LARF in December. I may have a few gigs in CT later this month, but I've not got confirmation of them yet.
What else is going on.
Lets see, DB is 3. I'm realizing how much I do not love this age. My sweet, mostly well behaved child, doesn't really have tantrums, doesn't scream or bite daughter is now a pod-person. OK, not really, but this is the first time she is actually being somewhat textbook with her behaviour. I really don't care for it. Seriously, Do.Not.Like.
We are now owned by 2 kitties. Lyric and Mishka. Lyric, as some of you may know, was born at PARF. She's pudging out a bit, but I think that's because she's eating the "senior" food. Mishka is our new "baby". After some debate, we think she's about 12. She was a stray found in AZ. She is a pure white Turkish Angora with one green eye and one blue eye. She was found severely underweight (near skeletal). Through some odd turn of events she ended up with us. She is an incredibly loving and tolerant kitty. She and Lyric get along pretty well, and she is a great traveler. We really did luck out in that aspect. With as much traveling as we do, having 2 cats that are good travelers is amazing.
Kickstarter is on a slight hiatus. *sigh* Between my schedule and lack of internet, things are at a standstill. My hope is to have everything up and running by August. Along that line, I'm shooting to have my Bandcamp up at the same time. Fingers crossed...
NEW and SHINY, I have an account at Reverbnation I am learning how to use it, but please check it out. :) I've also got a new music project in the works, but it's Super Sekret right now!
My friend Hel introduced me to unfuck your habitat and my friend Becca introduced me to nirvanahq. Both sites have been increasingly helpful with managing my ADD. I highly recommend the sites to anyone looking for some help with organisation, ADD is not required. ;> I'm so late to the game with so many things. Today I made an account on Tumblr. I've linked this blog to that one, so now I'm on two platforms. Yeah, I'm technologically slow.
I just looked at the clock. It's way past pumpkin time, and I'm still awake. Why am I still awake? This does not please me. OTOH, lookit me making a long-ass blog post, and posting on multiple platforms. Go me. Go me, right to bed. G'night, Moon.
Yup, just a placeholder. Why? 'Cause this week is busy as all get out!
Quick recap: DB and I got to AZRF and survived opening weekend. Survived really isn't a good word. Opening weekend was made of awesomesauce. The weather was wonderful, the crowds were really sweet and welcoming, and we had a ton of fun. This week we have student days, followed by a three-day-weekend as we're open on President's day. Did I mention the being busy as all get out?
Yesterday was Lupercalia/Valentine's/Tuesday. All in all it was a good day. There were cards in the mail, food shopping with friends after work, and loads of music and camaraderie as we all played in the rain for most of the Student day.
As for now, I need to do the last of the unpacking, put the pork chops in the oven, and get ready for our next Student day (tomorrow).
I had a pretty good weekend. It finally felt like Winter for more than a few hours or even for one day. I got some snippets of things written, but nothing really flowed the way I was hoping for. I think I have too many thoughts bouncing around in my brain for things to really come together. Iinstead of trying to force the words out I picked Lily up and practiced for an hour. I picked 4 Irish tunes, 2 Cantigas, 2 classical pieces and the Csardas, which I've wanted to work on for years. I took two hours for a break and then went back to it. I practiced for one more hour and then stopped. Most of what I picked to play had very little shifting, so my wrist didn't ache to much. I worked on my posture so my right shoulder wasn't too stiff. After practice I stretched for a while, and all told I feel pretty good I don't think I can practice for two hours every day, but I can certainly shoot for one hour a few days a week.
The AZRF cross-country trip is looming. LOOMING! Seriously, I leave in 11 days. What can someone do in 11 days? Well, y'all are about to find out. Are you ready? Good!
*long pause*
Well, not right now. Right now I have to eat. Right now I have to work on uploading tunes to my Bandcamp account. Right now I have to stop worrying about leaving for AZRF in 11 days. Right now...
Cue the VanHagar!
I so miss Pop Up Video. And in case you don't know the lyrics to "Right Now", here ya go.
Don't wanna wait 'til tomorrow
Why put it off another day?
One by one, little problems
Build up, and stand in our way. Oh
One step ahead, one step behind it
Now ya gotta runt o get even
Make future plans I'll dream about yesterday, hey!
Come on turn, turn this thing around
(Right Now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right Now) Come on, it's everything
(Right Now) Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything
Miss a beat, you lose a rhythm
An nothin' falls into place. No!
Only missed by a fraction
Slipped a little off your pace. Oh!
The more things you get, the more you want
Just trade in one for another
Workin' o hard to make it easy
Whoa, got to turn. Come on, turn this thing around
(Right Now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right Now) Come on, it's everything
(Right Now) Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything
Said a lie to me
Right now
What ar ya waitin' for? Oh! Yeah!
Right Now
(Guitar Solo)
(Right Now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right Now) Come on, it's everything
(Right Now) Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything
It's what's happening
Right here and now
Right now, it's right now
Right now, it's right now
Oh!
Tell me, what are ya waitin' for?
Turn this thing around
When
they announced Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows I got excited, but
not for the reasons you might think. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed
the eye candy. While I'm not
a huge Jude Law fan, I really like his portrayal of Dr. Watson. While
I am
a huge Robert Downey Jr. fan, it's not because he's rather easy on
the eyes. I'm a huge Robert Downey Jr. fan because I think he's an
awesome actor. I like that he isn't just Robert Downey Jr. playing a
part. I like that when I watch him in movies I see the character
he's playing. I really liked the first Sherlock Holmes. I liked the
storyline, the pace of the movie, and the music. I think my
favourite track was Rocky Road to Dublin, by the Dubliners, like
that's any big surprise to any of you.
I
saw Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows on Christmas day as part of my
traditional Channukah/Christmas celebrations. I was really looking
forward to it, and I was not disappointed. I liked the pacing and
the story. I liked the new characters. I liked the old characters.
Most of all, though, I loved the music. The Roma tunes were...
indescribable. I could see them. They made my pulse move, and my
fingers itched for my fiddle and bow. Friends took me to see the
movie again earlier this week, and I had the same reaction. I need
to get this soundtrack, but even more, I need to learn these tunes.
I need to play these tunes. Before I head off, let me share this
article with you. It's pretty fantastic, and there are some great
clips. Make sure you watch all the clips!
I sing songs and play fiddle music for DB, and she watches me intently. When I sing, she stares at my lips with amazing focus and mimics the shapes my mouth is making. She has learned to sing several of the songs in my regular faire set list, including the Mingulay Boat Song. Today she floored me.
At naptime she asked for her Lullaby (In a Glade) and as I began she sang it with me. Each verse and chorus. The song is in Ukrainian. UKRAINIAN!!
Here's a link to the non-Milla Jovovich version of the song. FYI, while I love Milla's version, and I sing it about the same tempo she does, I really enjoy this version.
Once upon a time, not very far away, there was a budding violinist, and she loved to play music.
Music touched her heart and soul the way nothing else could. Boyfriends could come and go, stress could mount, depression could rear its depressed head, but as long as there was music it was all OK. Music made her heart soar, her blood race, and brought a joy to her entire being. That said, the idea of practicing was never fun. She would practice when she had to, and once she got started it was easy to continue. Still, the getting started was always the hardest part.
She was lucky, or perhaps blessed, that music came easily (mostly) to her. She excelled in music at school, played music at summer camp, and dreamt that she would make music her career. She was a big fish in a little pond through her school years. She decided to follow the path and auditioned for colleges across the Eastern coast. She was encouraged by her parents to follow a different path. Music wouldn't pay. Music was hard. Music was a good hobby, but not something to base ones life upon. Music was a dream. Her parents weren't being cruel, but rational. After all, "how many violinists are there, and how many orchestras are there, and how many of said violinists actually get jobs in said orchestras." Better to learn more marketable skills and enjoy music on the side.
She would have nothing of it. Music was in her breath and her blood.
There were auditions. They were scary. There was travel to more auditions. They were just as scary. The letters started to come back. Each letter was received with trepidation, but once opened (and often read with one eye closed) the answers were the same. Accepted. Accepted. Accepted. Accepted. The response to those letters was always the same, with the girl and her mother screaming in excitement and running up and down the halls of their home.
A college was selected in Upstate NY. It was close enough for her parents, and far enough for her to be happy and satisfied.
Classes began, soon followed by the schooling. There was so much she didn't know. So much she didn't have experience with. So much to learn. Practicing wasn't something to fudge around with anymore. This was Serious Business. There was theory. There were scales, arpeggios, position work, vibrato... She needed to be more disciplined in her practice. Her heart and soul poured into the music, but her skills weren't at the same level. She began to practice more often. She would venture to the practice rooms in the bowels of the music building and practice.
And practice.
And practice.
Hours were spent in those small rooms.
At the end of the academic year, music students had a Jury. It was their final exam for the year. For the violinists, they would walk out onto the large, empty stage, and they would play. Everything they worked on for the year would be thrown out for the judges to dissect. This was not was the violinist excelled at. Solo playing was a terrifying experience. Being part of the corps, a strong player in the middle of the section, that was where she was comfortable.
The Jury began. She couldn't hear anything aside from the blood rushing in her ears and the mistakes she made. The results weren't very good. She passed, barely, but she would have to step it up if she wanted to continue on this path.
Practicing began in earnest. This was her path, right? This was her dream, right? MUSIC. The colours, the emotions, the magic that came from playing the notes and being part of the group. MUSIC.
So she practiced. A lot. And then the pain started.
Shooting pains in her wrists and her right elbow. She pushed on, of course. One needs to suffer for their Art, right? Hours at a time, day after day, she pushed on. Her sophomore year was not a good year. Ice, meds, braces on her wrists, nothing helped. She limped along, barely making the grade. There were tears and screams of frustration. Dreams were not supposed to hurt. Her second Jury was not successful.
Courses needed to change as her plans for her future needed to change. The doctors, and there were several, told her that she damaged herself and she could either have surgery, or stop playing. Surgery that wasn't necessarily proven, so said her parents. Surgery was not an option. She contemplated a life without music and found it was bleak. Too bleak. She thought about not continuing anymore, and attempted not continuing anymore.
Her junior year included a lot of therapy. She continued to play, but very infrequently. She sang more, but it didn't touch what she felt when she played her violin.
Her senior year came and went. She played even less. Then she stopped playing.
For five years.
She didn't touch her chosen instrument. She sang less. Music was too painful to listen to.
Life stumbled along. It was a shadowy existence. Music played on the radio, but almost never classical music. The true Changing point happened at Sterling. Walking down the stone and brick path, she heard a violin. She ducked behind the pork pocket booth and stood, slack-jawed, watching a musician play. It was a joyous sound. It had depth, energy and life. It was a deep breath after being under water for too long. It was Music.
She began to play again, slowly. She changed her repertoire. She discovered she's heard this kind of music before, when she was young, and reveled in the feelings it rekindled in her.
Now, some 14 years later, she's still playing. She performs. She still doesn't practice like she should, but Music is part of her life. It is her chosen path, and her career. Still, she rarely plays or listens to classical music because of the pain, physical and emotional, that it stirs in her.
Recently, last night in fact, she turned on the radio and heard the Brandenburg Concerto. It was incredible and she couldn't turn it off. After the Brandenburg they played the Concerto for 2 Violins in D minor. Feelings of sorrow and joy flooded her. The music was so beautiful, and so familiar, but she'd never be able to play them the way she used to. Not without pain. Tears flowed. Loss tempered with the knowledge she could play equally beautiful music without pain was a huge comfort. Knowing she's instilling a love of music in her daughter, and with her students consoled her further. Knowing she brings joy to those who listen to her play reminds her that she made the right career decision. It hurts, but her path is still there. This is not a pity party. Music flows in her life, and in her blood, and thats what matters.
Bach Concerto for 2 Violins in D Minor, Issac Stern & Shlomo Mintz
For the first time in months I took my fiddle, Lily, out to practice. I knew it wasn't going to be for more than 15 minutes, but I was going to practice. I won't go into why I haven't been able to practice, lets just say Life can be a Bitch, but tonight I was going to re-embrace practicing and making music.
As soon as I lifted the case to my lap my daughter smiled a huge grin an said "Play Violin!" She went on saying, "Help! Help bow! Play Violin!" For those who don't know, DB is 21 months old. Over the past 4 months she's sat on my lap and "helped" me bow a few times, but tonight it really was something fantastical.
I played "A Bunch of Keys" and she was furious with me for not sitting down so she could help me. I started the Eklundapolska, and she began crying. "Me You!Me You! Help Violin!" I sat down at the end of the piece and she clambered into my lap.
She took my bow in her and and started to play on the strings while I put my fingers down for a D major scale. I said,"Flat hair, honey. Remember to keep the hair on the bow flat" and she corrected her bowing. I moved her hand from a more fiddler bow hand (choking up on the stick) to the grip and she grasped it easily. We played for 15 minutes easy, and the only reason we stopped was because I realized the time was way past her normal bedtime. She was not happy with me. I promised her we'd practice again tomorrow.
Music has always been my lifeblood. Becoming a mother changed that, as my priorities changed. DB is entranced by music. Mind you, she's heard it all her life, even before she was born. She hears Celtic music and says "Mama Music", even if I'm not the one playing. I have to wonder if music will be as intrinsic to her life as it is to mine. What I know, after tonight's experiment, is that I'll be able to incorporate practicing into my life again, and that I'll have help. This is truly something fantastical!
This blog doesn't really have a focus. I have a personal blog on LiveJournal as well as a NeidFyre blog, an unused Myspace account, my website NeidFyre.com, and a facebook account. I twitter constantly, and am fond of FourSquare. Facebook really isn't the place for blogging. My LiveJournal blog is private. Myspace is not for me. I don't really think blogging in 140 characters or less counts as blogging, and FourSquare is all about Location Location Location. That leaves me here, at Fiddlemama.
Fiddlemama seems to be my catch-all place. Originally this was where I was going to post my letters and notes to my daughter. I write my daughter a letter or note every day, you see. It's more for me than it is for her, but it's something I really wanted to do. It didn't feel right doing it online, so I have a paper journal for that. That leaves me with the dilemma again of this blog not having a focus.
I've posted about my struggles with ADD here. I've posted about teaching here. I've posted about gigs here. I've posted my poetry here. It still doesn't feel like home, though. I feel like a guest in my own space, and that's just bloody uncomfortable.
Perhaps the blog doesn't need a focus, and I need to accept it for what it is. I'm not pithy or wise. I am not the most eloquent writer, and my grammar often sucks eggs. Thank the Gods there's a spell check here, because spelling is not my strongest suit. This blog isn't here to impress people, it's here for me. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to impress people. I'd like to entertain people. I'd like it if this blog started getting hit upon hit, and people did think I was pithy and wise. Of course, none of that will happen if I ignore this space or if I only write once or twice a month. It's hard to talk the talk if I'm not willing to actually do the necessary work.
What do I mean, "do the necessary work"? It means writing. It means making music. It means actually living in the world instead of wandering with insecure purpose. I'm so tired of feeling insecure with my dreams and desires. Who does it serve to live like that? Not my daughter, and certainly not me.
I don't want broken promises, or empty solutions. I'd like some more substance with my subsistence.
I teach private music lessons, and over the past 4 years I've noticed the increasing trend in students and their parents treating me (and other private instructors) disrespectfully. No-shows, last minute cancellations, not practicing, not focusing, quitting because it's "too hard". When did children start ruling over their parents? What is going on here?
No-shows and last minute cancellations (that are not related to being ill, family emergencies or car problems) seem to happen every week. Not only do they happen, but the parents don't want to pay for the missed lessons. This is my Livelihood, people! I have expenses to cover. I have bills to pay. This isn't some hobby, it's what I do!! Why is it so hard for parents to understand this? What about having enough respect for me and my time to call me 24-hours ahead and say, "Janie has a conflict tomorrow and we can't make it." or "Billy isn't feeling well and we don't want to get you sick. We want to reschedule his lesson." It isn't rocket science people, it's called COMMUNICATION. Email, Text, Cell Phones - those are the tools so why aren't they being used? Not showing up or canceling last minute teaches that child that it's OK to not keep commitments. It teaches that child that their teacher's time is not important. It teaches that child that it's OK to disrespect others. Again I ask, when did this become OK?
I understand that students get distracted. I understand that students don't always have a lot of time to practice. Life is full these days. School, family, sports, clubs, pets, chores... these things all take up precious time. These things are commitments and need to be prioritized. By the same token, however, these students signed up for lessons. They made a commitment to me and to themselves to practice and learn an instrument. Not being focused and not practicing is another way student disrespect their teachers. Be prepared - be honest - tell me that you didn't practice and I'll work with that. Coming to lessons yawning, slack-jawed and not being present is a waste of everyone's time. When did this become OK?
Last but no least, the excuse "It's too hard" is bogus. No Shit it's hard! You are learning a new language (reading music)! You are using muscles you don't use at other times! You're doing 18 things at once! If it was EASY then EVERYONE would be doing it. With everything we do in our lives, there is a learning curve. Things are hard at the start, and it's my belief that they will get harder before we reach the top of the curve, and everything we've been struggling with suddenly makes sense. It all clicks, and as we move forward we start the next learning curve. "It's too hard" is not the same as a student saying "I'm no longer interested". "It's too hard" is not the same as "I never wanted to play this instrument." "It's too hard" is a cop-out for not wanting to do the work. I'm not suggesting that parents not listen to their children and force them to play an instrument they're not interested in. What I am saying is asking their kids to stick it out for 1 or 2 more lessons, to see if they can get over that hump may be more beneficial than letting them quit because "it's too hard".
How do I know all this? I've been there. I didn't want to practice. I wanted to quit. I would come to lessons unprepared and distracted. My teacher would talk to me about the disrespect I was showing her and myself, and if that's what I wanted to do then she wouldn't teach me anymore. She put her heart and soul into teaching me (and her other students) and it wasn't worth her time to waste that on someone who didn't get that.
I love my students. I teach all ages, all levels, and each one of my "kids" is special. I know music is a hobby to most of my students, and I have no problems with that. I just want them, and their parents, to see that what they're getting is gift. They're getting a teacher who is investing her time in THEM. They're getting a teacher dedicated to making this a good experience. They're getting a teacher who tries to make the lessons fun and informative. I respect my students and their parents. I'd like to be treated the same way.
