There's so much going on these days, it's hard to sit down and write about it. My head feels over-full, but it's not the chaos it was after my dad's passing. Tonight my head is full of thoughts about the word Goodbye.
This evening a scene from Sweeney Todd popped into my head. If you don't know, dear reader, Sweeney Todd is one of my favourite musicals. Len Cariou's voice is just... gut-wrenchingly human. The pain, the sadness, the anger, it comes through so clearly. Ah, but I digress. The point of this is the scene in which Sweeney says Goodbye. Toward the end of the musical Sweeney comes to a point where he is killing people, just floating on air, at peace with himself. He seems free. He's made his peace with his past, and he's going forward.
I can see this around me. I can see the letting go, and it's just crushingly painful. I can't express in my own words how I feel, so I will share Sweeney's Lyrics with you.
And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her?
I'd want you beautiful and pale, the way I've dreamed you were,
And if you're beautiful what then with yellow hair, like wheat
I think we shall not meet again my little dove, my sweet
You're gone, and yet you're mine
I'm fine, Johanna,
And if I never hear your voice, my turtle-dove, my dear
I still have reason to rejoice the way your head is clear
And in that darkeness when I'm blind with what I can't forget
It's always morning in my mind, my little lamb, my pet
You stay, Johanna
The way I dreamed you were
Oh look, Johanna, a star
A shooting star
And though I'll think of you I guess, until the day I die,
I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by
And you'd be beautiful and pale and look too much like her
If only angels could prevail we'd be the way we were
Wake up, Johanna!
Unnerve the bright red day
We learn Johanna, to say
Sadly the quality from the original musical isn't very good, so I've a link to the song from the movie version starring Johnny Depp. I don't feel that his voice conveys the same heartbreak and freedom that Len Cariou's did, but think he did a good job none-the-less.
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